With my attention in about ten separate directions at any given moment, I haven't been able to write as I would like these past few months. I feel trapped inside myself without my usual outlet of putting my thoughts down with pen and paper. So as I'm taking a quick moment to just read "something", I come across this article. It's perfect. It's me today!! I could've written it myself except for the fact that I'm still in transition...but it's still perfectly me. It's nice to read about "me" instead of writing about "me" even if it's in someone else's words. :)
Monday, April 6, 2015
Maybe there's confusion on my faith. Maybe others feel as though its been taken...shaken...or it just never was. But that's a mistake in thought. Its not that my faith is no longer....it's that my faith has transformed. It does not consist of a man in a robe with a judgemental pen or even one of destiny. For me if you believe in that then at many times there are no winners or receivers of that coveted favor. Why is it necessary to put God in a box of ideas set up by man? I do not wish to be in this lot of idealizers. My faith is that love in its purest form can reach any crevice in the universe regardless of our perceived "right" outcome..that our suffering isn't in vain but for ultimate spiritual growth. This includes all suffering everywhere. Eternity is not playing in the clouds...eternity is part of the here and the now. Its all I consciously have. Why wait for greatness when greatness is at your fingertips through choice, action, love, compromise, etc. and is readily available in THIS life. Don't just plan for eternity...live it daily!
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
It was over 4 1/2 years ago that my life took on one of it's changes of direction. I had recently come out of a loveless marriage of 4 years. My two oldest children were out of my home. It was just me and my little man Brian who was about 12 years old at the time and our time together was well spent. We enjoyed our day to day with no crazy drama or outside influence. We were active in his baseball activities. I cannot think of another time during my life when it was any more peaceful and filled with so much contentment. Then I heard this song and began praying. I prayed that my life would be used for whatever was necessary and in a way that was of service to God, Creation, the Universe, whatever you choose to call it. The words resignated in my soul. I cannot explain how they just took me over in a way that til this day is still unexplainable. I was just so deeply grateful for all the grace and love that I had received throughout my life. I had taken some time to look back over my days on earth and even with all the circumstances I had to overcome, I knew I was blessed. There were so many different people that were placed in my path to assist me in building a solid foundation within me. And there I was standing tall in the absolute knowledge of knowing that I was a child of the most high and I was loved from the depths of grace to the highest point of abundance. Oh how whole I felt. How completely full I was. I continued to pray this song. And then I got the call...